[ Fanfic - Even Though ]

Even Though: A Marmalade Boy fanfic
By yutamiyu



DISCLAIMER: They don't belong to me. Nope. And this story contains a rather large SPOILER. BE WARNED.



Yuu deals with his secret...



My eyes bore into Miki's back as I watched her walk several steps ahead of me, heading for the airport.

And I kept my distance. I gave her space. I gave her all the space that she needed.

Such a revelation could not be dealt with all at once. I understood that she felt hurt and betrayed by my actions. But it truly was not my fault. Were the decision up to me, I would have had her remain with me forever.

My parents were at the greatest fault, hiding their prior relationships from us.

I was at fault for waiting to tell her until after I had fled to America. If I had told her while I was still in Japan, perhaps she would not have come to the realization that I was the only one her heart could accept as the man she loved. I had already made the decision for myself some time ago.

Even though we were in love, we could not be together.

For my true father was the same as hers. Miki and I...were siblings. And such relationships, we both knew very well, were frowned upon by every culture, every social structure that we knew of.

It was best to sever every tie and forget that we were ever in love.

I shrugged my shoulder to push Miki's bag back up onto it. Her duffel bag was fairly heavy; I idly wondered what she had packed. It did not seem to me like the trip she had taken was going to have been a long one--she had planned on talking to me and going right back to Japan, wasn't that right?

Had Miki really been planning on staying with me throughout the weekend, despite the consequences our actions could have brought us?

Would I have refused her, even though my rational mind told me that it was horribly wrong?

I shook my head rapidly. Of course I would have refused her. I would never make her suffer such consequences from such actions.

...Although...I would rather die than refuse her anything...

It was too late when I realized that Miki had begun to pick up pace; she had already jumped into a cab and pulled away from the curb. A seventeen-year-old Japanese girl who did not speak fluent English had been unleashed into the dangers of New York City.

I called her name and chased after the taxicab, waving my free arm frantically. "MIKI! WAIT!" I exclaimed, and stopped running as the cab pulled out of sight. I looked around me for more of the bright yellow cars and found none. I kicked at the curb next to me and ran to the pay phone, hastily feeding money into it and dialing familiar numbers.

One ring. Two. Three.

"Hello?" the voice on the other end inquired.

"BILL!" I exclaimed frantically. "Get down to the airport NOW!"

"What's happened, Yuu?" he asked immediately. I have never been known to raise my voice; he knew immediately that something was wrong.

"Miki...Miki ran away." I looked up from the pay phone terminal, hoping to spy her cab pulling back into the airport. "She's out alone..." I closed my eyes and made a fist and bashed it against the phone booth. "Come pick me up outside of the airport!"

"We'll be right over," Bill replied, and I heard the other end of the line hang up.

I waited for twenty minutes. And for every second that ticked by another part of me died. I paced rapidly the entire time, and made a beeline for Brian's purple car, jumping into the front seat, when my friends finally arrived.

"Yuu, where did she go?" Brian asked from the driver's seat.

I pointed to the distant skyline. "Somewhere over there...I lost the cab a while ago."

Brian nodded and shifted the car into gear.

"Wait, Brian", Doris' somehow calm voice interjected from the back seat. Miki was in trouble...how could she remain so calm? "Maybe we should go to the police and file a missing persons report."

Brian nodded again and pulled out of the airport opposite of where I had just pointed him.

"Brian, she's over THAT WAY!" I exclaimed angrily, pointing out of the window.

"Doris is right, Yuu," Bill's voice agreed. "This is the most efficient way of finding her. I know...I know that you want to find her--we do, too--but if you file the report then there will be police from all over New York looking for her."

I slumped back into my seat, defeated. However, I soon rose again and stared out of the window, scanning hundreds of thousands of faces in hopes that one of them would be familiar to me.

Miki...

Brian parked the car in front of the police station and I hurried in, full of hope, while the rest of the group remained with the car. When I emerged dejected from the glass doors ten minutes later, Bill approached me.

"How did it go?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

I shook my head. "Nothing yet. She's not in the station, either. She's still out on the streets somewhere. They put a missing persons report out on the police scanners..." I met everyone's eyes. "...Let's keep looking for her."

Brian got out of the driver's seat and locked his car. "All right," he said decidedly, pocketing the keys. "Let's separate." He grabbed Doris' arm and pulled her over to him. "We'll go this way."

Bill nodded, and met Jinny's alert, understanding eyes. "Then I'll go that way," he said, pointing in the opposite direction. Jinny nodded. "Meet back here in two hours!" Both groups split and started to run.

I turned behind me. "Miki--" I started out of reflex, and stopped when I realized that she was no longer by my side. She had always been my partner in every game we played, as well as my companion when our groups split up. So she would naturally have been my searching partner at a time like this.

But now...

I sighed, and took off down the center of the split paths, alone. And I had never felt so small in my life, looking at the massive crowds ahead of me. But I would find Miki. I was absolutely determined.

Block after block and crowd after crowd I felt as though I had already searched there before. Nobody had seen Miki. I zigzagged through crowds of people, sometimes finding girls who looked like her from behind, but when they turned, their faces were foreign and unknown to me. My failures did not discourage me from looking, however, and I continued on my relentless search.

I heard the light beeping on my alarm watch go off, and when I looked down at its face I realized that my allotted time had almost passed--I had been searching for nearly two hours. I would have to go back to the police station and meet with the rest of my American friends.

Surely...surely one of them had found Miki...

I rushed back to the police station and looked around frantically for Brian's car. I finally located it parked in a distant spot and jogged over, silently counting the number of people. Bill, Jinny, Brian, Doris. Only four. None of them had succeeded in finding Miki.

Another part of me died.

"We have to keep looking!" I yelled before I even got near the car. The entire group broke up and took their places in the car, and I hopped into the front seat, closing the door rather harshly behind me. "Let's go!" I exclaimed to Brian, who instantly put the car into gear and pulled out of the station.

"Keep an eye out back there," Brian called to the people sitting behind me. "Do you see her?"

"Not yet," Jinny's voice replied from directly behind me.

"Me neither," Doris' voice chimed in.

"...What happened, Yuu?" Bill's quiet voice inquired. "Last time you phoned, you and Miki were a couple again."

I sat, completely quiet, my eyes not leaving the window next to me. I wasn't sure if I could tell him my situation. At least...not yet.

Not ever?

"Yuu," Bill said, more forcefully.

"Don't push it," Doris interjected. "It's Yuu's private business."

I tore my eyes away from the window and looked down into my lap. They would probably find out eventually; it was good to tell my friends up front. How could I still love Miki if I was too embarrassed to admit to others the exact details of our relationship?

How could Miki and I ever be together if I did nothing but cower behind a shield of lies?

"Miki and I..." I said softly, "...are siblings."

I heard everybody's audible gasp; not one person in the car had been expecting my words. I was positive that they had all assumed that Miki and I had had some sort of fight, and that she had run away in anger; running in grief was something completely different, and family relations were not to be taken lightly.

My friends continued to search outside of their car windows, eyes scanning frantically for Miki. The awkward silence was finally broken by a chirping sound; Brian reached onto his dashboard and produced a pager, squinting to read the number. Eyes widening, he pulled over into a nearby parking lot and turned off the engine.

"What are you doing?" I asked him. Had he gone completely insane?

Brian thrust the pager into my hands. "It's the cops. I told them to page me if they found anything...and this is their phone number." He jerked his head in the direction of my window. "Go and call them."

I looked out of the window and saw a pay phone at the end of the parking lot, and nodded, getting out of the car and running over to the phone. I picked up the receiver and stuck in some change, quickly dialing the number I read on the pager. The phone rang once, twice, before a gruff voice picked up.

"New York City police."

I identified myself. "I got a page telling me to call this number."

"Matsuura...Matsuura..." the man mumbled, and I could hear him flipping through sheets of paper. "Oh yeah. We found a girl matching the description that you gave us."

My eyes widened and I clasped onto the phone with both hands. "You found Miki?!" I yelled uncontrollably into the phone. "Where is she?!"

"On..." More rustling. "...Lexington Avenue."

"Lexington Avenue?"

"Right. Close to the City Museum."

"I understand," I told him. "I'll go there now." I humg up the phone quickly, a distant part of my mind chiding me for not thanking the officer. I rationalized that, under the circumstances, I was entitled to be rude. I rushed to the car and poked my head into the open passenger side window.

"Brian, please take me to the museum! Someone fitting Miki's description has been found!"

"All right!" Jinny exclaimed, and I heard the relieved sighs of the rest of my companions.

I scrambled back into the car and placed the pager back on the dashboard. "Let's go, Brian!" I cried.

The drive to the museum took seemingly forever, and throughout the entire ride, all I could think about was Miki. What I would tell her when I found her, and how I would scold her--but only gently. Always gently. I would tell her how much her disappearance had hurt me.

And then what? I still had not come to a conclusion about our relationship. A part of me still wanted her, still desired her, while another part screamed that it was horribly wrong. Rationality versus emotions with only one inevitable winner. I was at an impasse.

My eye caught sight of two policemen in their bright blue uniforms and I jumped out of the car and ran over to them. My eyes glanced over the girl in front of me, my hopes rising...until my eyes rested upon her face.

"...It's not her," I said, trying to hide my utter disappointment. "This girl is Chinese."

One of the officers sighed. "Japanese and Chinese look the same to us," he said pitifully, and I dropped my head in
disgust. "...Better check the City Morgue," he added solemnly.

My eyes widened and I could hear Bill's gasp from behind me. Miki...dead? The thought had never before crossed my mind. She would have died and it would have been my fault, all because I was trying to protect my heart and hers.

Miki...dead?

It's...impossible...

My head shot up and I took a step towards the officer. "A...are you saying that Miki is..." I advanced on the officer threateningly, mad with grief, without even realizing my actions.

The policeman's partner restrained me, and I came to my senses. "It wasn't on purpose," he said. "Manhattan is the most dangerous city in the world." He paused, and said his next words as an afterthought. "I just hope the girl didn't stray into the Harlem area."

Surely...surely Miki wouldn't have wandered into the most dangerous area of Manhattan...

Images flashed across my mind and I KNEW. Despite my wishes, I knew that Miki was in the Harlem area. I broke away from the officer and started to run towards Harlem in reckless abandon. Bill called after me, and I did not heed his words. I continued to run down the sidewalk, block after block, sprinting to avoid cars.

"YUU!" Jinny screamed, and Brian's car pulled up to match my speed. "Yuu, get in the car!" she called out of her window. "We're going to drive you there...it's getting dark!"

I stopped running long enough to hop into the car, panting, and Brian pressed the gas petal even farther to the floor, increasing our speed.

Catching my breath, my mind wandered on the day's events. Telling Miki had been inevitable; I had known that. Perhaps if I hadn't told her in America that she would not have fled. Had the entire scenario been just as much my fault as it had been my parents'?

Was Miki having the same troubled thoughts as I?

Miki...

Even though I had been trying to forget, my mind focused on nothing but her, conjuring unbidden, bittersweet memories.

I remembered Miki in her fancy dinner dress, with her hair done especially for me, as she sat down in front of me for my birthday dinner. She had made the cake by herself, so naturally it had been a disaster. Like mother, like daughter, I had figured with a wry grin. But I would have eaten anything that she had made. Staring at her through the soft candlelight...I had almost kissed her...

I remembered Miki holding up a jar of marmalade, teasing me. I was a marmalade boy, she had claimed: sweet looking, but truly bitter on the inside. It had hurt that she thought of me like that, but I lashed right back (all in good measure, of course) and called her a mustard girl: hot and spicy. I had later taken that marmalade and put it in my room on the corner of my desk, and every day I would simply hold it. To Miki, I was good looking...and bitter. I knew that there was another side to me, and I was determined to show her...

I remembered Miki holding the kappa doll that I had gotten out of a crane game for her on our first date. The Wonder Dog amusement park. I had known perfectly well which figurine she had wanted, but I had teased her anyway and had gone for the little green blob sticking out next to it. I followed up by telling her that I loved her, and for a long time after could feel the sting of her hand across my face...

I remembered Miki walking into my room wearing her new Bobson's Ice Cream uniform. She had insisted on saving up money on her own to go on our trip together. She walked around the room, modeling it for me. She had looked so irresistibly cute, that I couldn't help but pull her into my embrace...

I remembered Miki walking behind me while we were shopping on New Years, holding up her hand and admiring the toy ring that I had bought for her in a street stall. She had put it on her middle finger of her left hand, and I had found myself idly wondering what a real one would look like on that fourth finger...

I remembered Miki.

Even though I knew I had to, my heart simply could not give her up.

I saw an old woman standing on the sidewalk under a street lamp, fastening her hair bandanna, and I told Brian to pull over and let me out. I jogged over to her and described Miki, showing a picture, and asking if she had seen her.

The woman put a thoughtful finger to her lips before her face lit up in recognition. "Ah, that girl," she said slowly. "She ran away with those two darling children. They saved her from those street thugs. Saved her life, they did."

My eyes widened. "Do you know where they went?" I asked hurriedly.

The woman pointed a finger. "They ran that way," she said. "There is an old abandoned house that I sometimes see the kids playing in."

I thanked her and took off in that direction. And I had not run long before I heard familiar screaming.

"EDDIE!" Miki's piercing voice cried.

I ran around the corner and stopped dead at the sight in front of me. Miki was being held by a gang member, and two small children were being hassled by two other thugs. I noticed that one of them had a switchblade knife; what were they planning on doing to Miki? Several horrible images flashed into my mind and each one of them made my stomach churn and begin to heave. I absolutely would not let them touch Miki any farther.

I ran until I thought my lungs would burst, but jumped the fence just in time to intercept a gang member's flying punch with one of my own, knocking him down to the ground.

"Yuu..." Miki whimpered quietly.

I turned sharply to her. "MIKI!" My voice conveyed every bit of my worry for her. I readied to say much more, but all of my air quickly left me as the man I had just punched socked me in the stomach, sending me crippling over, grimacing in pain. It hurt to breathe.

Two bright lights approached and shone upon me and I heard the opening of car doors, followed by two female voices calling for the policemen to come. Jinny and Doris had saved me, and the gang members fled.

I heard Miki's relieved gasp, and I forced myself back up to look at her. She was still absolutely beautiful to me, despite having been thrown around by violent men. We ran into each others' arms and remained embraced. I looked down into her eyes, and saw hers shining back at me.

Even though we had to...I couldn't...

"Thank god," I breathed. I really could say nothing more.

"Yuu..." Miki simply replied, gasping.

I clutched her tightly. "I can't let you go ever again. I...I'll NEVER let you go. If something happened to you...when I thought about it...I just...I went out of my mind! And I realized...I CAN'T be apart from you."

I pulled away from her and grasped her shoulders, staring into her eyes intently. What I was about to say was taboo at best. Miki would most certainly not like it, not accept it, but I felt as though I owed it to myself--to both of us--to try. To at least put our hearts at rest.

"...Let's live together," I said softly.

I saw a thousand thoughts in her eyes before they finally became soft and she smiled. "Yuu..." she whispered.

"I can't fool myself!" I came back. It was essential that she knew how much I needed her. She had unknowingly become a part of me, and without her I could not survive.

She flew into my arms and I was shocked. "Me neither," she said, rubbing against my chest. "I've been thinking...the same thing."

Even though we're siblings...we'll live together.

The thought ran through my mind and I was certain that it ran through Miki's as well. Our parents would not be happy with the decision at all. We would most likely be kicked out of our own house; disowned. We would certainly get points and stares and snickers, and be the subject of a vast array of gossip. We could probably never show face in our hometown again.

But even though life would be nothing but cruel, Miki and I would do our best to thrive; together.


~End~

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Again, it's not SUPPOSED to be happy. Personally, myself, I liked "Condemned Lovers" better, but I felt the urge to write the same scene from the anime. So this is the result. I hope that it was at least marginally enjoyable, and I will see you in my next fic. ^_^

...make a wish