[ Fanfic - Condemned Lovers ]

Condemned Lovers: A Marmalade Boy fanfic
By yutamiyu


Disclaimer: They don't belong to me, and they never will.


The final episodes in the manga...



I hear knocking at my door and I look up from the book I am reading. There is a pause before it opens and Miki slowly walks inside, her eyes cast to the ground.

"...Miki?" I ask, when she does not speak.

Her head rises to meet mine. "I have a request," she says strongly.

"...What is it?"

She clasps her hands in front of her tightly and takes a sudden fascination in them. I can see her knuckles whiten as they squeeze together. Whatever it is she wants to ask me, I realize, is extremely difficult for her to say. What could possibly be so bad for her...?

"I...I want you to go with me on the trip you promised me before," she finally says. "To Kyushu." She looks up from her hands and into my eyes, and I see firm resolution gleaming within them.

"Then..." she continues softly, "...Just during the trip...I want to go back to being the two people we once were...and go all out and have fun...like a couple of sweethearts." She takes a large breath and holds it before releasing. "I want one last memory."

How could I deny the most precious thing in the world one last day of romance?

How could I deny myself?

"And then..." she says, almost as a whisper, "...I'll give up once and for all. I'll forget everything..."

Please, Miki...don't. I couldn't stand to have you forget about me completely.

I nod. "I understand," I reply quietly. I swing my legs over my bed and rise to my feet, crossing to her. "I'll talk to our parents right now," I say, and walk past her and towards the door. My arm brushes against her body accidentally and I hear her sharp, quiet gasp as she shivers.

Stay away from her, Yuu. This is for the best.

I walk downstairs, swallowing the knot in my throat. It pains me to hear that Miki is ready to give me up entirely, but I'm also happy that she is readily able to move on and find herself a loving boyfriend.

"Mom...Dad...Rumi...Jin...I have a request."

All four parents look up at me, surprised. I have never requested much from my parents, if anything at all.

"What is it, Yuu?" my mother presses.

"I...I would like to go to Kyushu, to research the architecture. And...Miki would like to go with me." I take a breath, and attempt to convince my parents. "She would be a welcome traveling companion, of course...I would like her to go. I think it would be a good experience for her, since she has never been.
And it gives me someone to talk to. And besides...she needs a break from school and her tennis club. It would only be for the weekend."

My parents--new and old--look at each other before nodding their confirmation.

"You're planning on leaving tomorrow, then?" Jin asks me.

I nod. "We're going to take the early morning plane. If I call now I can probably get tickets."

My father nods. "Take care, Yuu."

"I will."

"Oh, and Yuu?" Rumi asks. "Make sure you get us presents!"

I smile--albeit sadly--and head back upstairs and knock on Miki's door.

"Miki?" I call. "Miki...we're leaving tomorrow morning...you should pack."

Miki opens the door just enough to poke her head out and I notice that she has already changed for bed. She nods at me, and tells me to wake her up before we had to leave. I tell her that I would, and left for my room to begin packing.

The airport was noisy and crowded, as normal. I concentrate on the numbers flickering on the unfocused screen above me and attempt to find the gate that our plane is at. When I find it, and realize that we will be late, I grasp Miki's hand without a second thought and run with her through the twists and turns and crowds on the way to our gate.

When we arrive, Miki, panting, looks at our hands and then back up at me. "...You held my hand," she says quietly.

I look at our clasped hands and drop hers immediately. "I'm sorry," I reply.

Miki shakes her head and takes my hand back in both of hers, and smiles at me. "No...It's all right."

Her smile is not her normal smile; I can tell. I have spent months memorizing Miki's facial expressions, and the smile she gives me now is one of pain and sadness, not joy and contentment.

We soon board the plane, our hands not letting go of each other, and we sit in our seats. I reach between us and pull up the armrest and Miki leans over and places her head on my shoulder. For the entire flight the two of us say nothing, basking in the awkward silence and listening to the hums and roars of the plane as we immerse in our own thoughts.

For me, this trip represents a last salvation; one more day with the object of my affections. The center of my existence.

I wonder what it's like for her...

The plane touches down before I realize it, and Miki pulls away from me and I am saddened by the loss of her body against mine. The slight breeze that washed over my body felt like a harsh wind trying to blow me back.

Miki looks at me expectantly. After all, I am the one with the trip itinerary.

"I think...I think we should check into a hotel first," I say. Miki nods, and we walk several blocks with small carry-on bags, searching for a vacant hotel. When we finally find one with two rooms side by side, we each picked a door and opened it, tossing our bags onto the beds.

Miki leaves her room and pokes her head into mine. "Yuu...give me about ten minutes, all right?"

I look at her and nod, and she leaves, closing the door behind her; seconds later I hear the latch click in her door. There is another length of silence and I can hear the faint sound of Miki humming a tune that I am unfamiliar with. I smile, and move to unpack what little I have brought.

We meet again fifteen minutes later, and agree to head over to the Kitakyushu International Conference Center, a building designed by one of my favorite architects, Arata Isozaki. Miki looks at the building with a childlike amazement that reminds me of why I fell in love with her.

She turns and looks into my eyes excitedly. "Is this one your favorite Isozaki building, Yuu?" she asks.

I snap a picture and turn to meet her. "Sorry," I respond. "...Making you go with me to see my own pursuits. Are you bored?"

Miki smiles at me and shakes her head. "Not at all! That I can get to see, with you, the things that you like..." She grabs my hand. "...I'm very happy!"

I squeeze her hand in response. "I see," I reply, returning her smile with a forced one of my own. This bliss will not last forever, my analytical mind chides me, refusing to let me enjoy what little time with Miki I have left.

Miki looks down at our clasped hands, and draws hers away, showing me her left ring finger. "Oh!" she exclaims, blushing from embarrassment. "This! Thank you!" She fingers the ring that matches the bracelet I gave her earlier. "It's very cute...I like it." She holds it up in front of her, spreading her fingers wide to admire it. "It fits perfectly...how did you know my size?"

I chuckle to myself, remembering how she would always slip it into her conversation--before stating it bluntly--every day on the walk to school. I had always planned on buying her a ring, once we became a couple, and finally did...on the day that we broke up. "You told me yourself. So annoying," I murmur jokingly, "day after day."

I would rather be annoyed by Miki than by anyone else I can think of.

Miki's blush flourishes beautifully across her cheeks. "...Is that so?" she asks meekly, before looking down at her ring again, running a finger over it. "I...saw this for the first time yesterday. I kept it unopened and still wrapped up..." She smiles, and it is painful for me to see her force herself. "But...it's okay to wear this during the trip, right? Along with the bracelet you gave me before...and when we get back home to Tokyo, I'll put it away again."

Our entire relationship contained within a small box. Shoved away into the darkened corner of some drawer. I simply nod.

"...There's no way around it," Miki suddenly muses as we head for our next destination. "Our parents...I thought I was used to their strange ways...but it's still too cruel. Why...why couldn't they have told us from the start?"

Miki has been thinking about our break up as well. It is quite possible that she wants to stay together as much as I. Circumstances can be painful things for two people who are in love.

"But..." Miki adds quietly, "...I can't come to hate them. Because they're our parents..." She pauses. "...We can only give up..."

"Stop it," I interject strongly, and she raises her head to meet mine. Her eyes contain worry; I will mine to convey strength. "We promised to forget about the situation as long as we were in Kyushu. Here, we're just ordinary sweethearts, right? So...let's just have a fun trip. Okay?"

She stares at me for several moments before her lips curve in a smile--a genuine smile--and nodding.

While we head throughout the next several items in our trip itinerary, Miki loops her arm around mine, pulling her body close. We walk, talking about everything and nothing. We leave any mention of our parents out of the conversation.

I find myself unable to let Miki go. I don't want to separate from her. She has become the blood that flows through my veins and the very air that I breathe into my lungs. Despite the facts, I know that I must. And so I find myself wanting to immerse completely into my feelings, and allow her to do the same.

I want nothing but Miki.

We soon end up at Glover Park, and Miki looks at the port ships in the water off in the distance. "What nice view..." she gasps. I look at her through the viewfinder of my camera, and when she turns towards me to beckon me over, I snap a picture. Miki looks mildly annoyed before smiling at me, and I lower my camera and smile in return. We walk through the park for hours, hands clasped together, as though nothing had ever happened between us.

In the hotel that evening, I watch Miki as she flips through the guidebook. "So tomorrow is Huis Ten Bosch, right?" she asks me, pointing to a picture. "Yuu, look at the guidebook too, okay? Huis Ten Bosch is a really big place...so we should decide where we want to go beforehand." She smiles at me as she puts the book in front of me. "I'm really excited for it!"

I wish I could be as excited as her. For I know that after we stay together at Huis Ten Bosch, our trip will be over, and we will have to return to Tokyo and stay separated forever. I know that I could never go through with it, and I also know that I have no other choice.

Everything...will come to an end.

Miki's face has become sad. I raise my camera and take a picture of her, and she swats at me. "Stop that! I don't like having closeups taken..." I take another one. "Don't! I said I don't like it!"

I take two more pictures, despite her warnings. I have to cheer her up somehow. I pull my camera aside and smile at her. Miki narrows her eyes at me in annoyance, and snatches up the guidebook, hiding her face behind it.

"Yuu..." she groans. "If you take closeups of me...I'll look terrible!"

I grin at her. "Don't worry about it. It's already too late." I stick my tongue out at her, idly wondering if I meant it as a joke or if I was serious. It truly is too late for the two of us...is that what I spoke of?

Do I take meaningless pictures to surround myself with her when I cannot have her?

The next morning, we both headed for Huis Ten Bosch, and Miki runs ahead of me and stretches in the sun. "Hurry!" she calls back. "Let's hurry and go in!"

We walk into the Dutch town replica of Huis Ten Bosch and Miki points excitedly at the gardem near the entrance. "Look! They're beautiful..." She brings her head down to sniff at the flowerless plot. "...But it's disappointing that there aren't any tulips this time of year..."

I shrug, flipping through the brochure I picked up at the entrance of the town. "Aah, Miki," I say, trying to bring up a new conversation. "It says here that they're doing a laser show at the Orange Plaza at 7:30 tonight. Would you like to go see it after dinner?"

Miki looks up from the shrubbery and her eyes twinkle. "Laser show..." She moves up next to me to stare at the pamphlet, her eyes scanning over the evening's events. "They have fireworks, too?" She giggles. "Let's go!"

We spend the rest of the day traveling around Huis Ten Bosch, laughing and smiling and truly enjoying ourselves. And when we are through with the park I buy her a large ice cream cone, which she eats enthusiastically.

Night soon fell, and Miki and I shuffled with the rest of the crowd over to the benches that would seat us for the laser light show. I put my arm around Miki's shoulder and pull her into me, in the safety of the darkness, and she does not resist.

I found myself wishing that I could enjoy the light show that exploded before our eyes. Instead, my mind opted to focus upon the woe that was soon to come. The time for our separation was soon at hand. Miki and I would leave our fantasy and be pulled back to the harsh reality that awaited us at home.

But just as we are...I wish that time would stop...

The fireworks explode overhead and I watch them half-heartedly. The show ends quickly, and the crowd around us disperses. I remove my arm from Miki's shoulder.

"...Are we going back to the hotel?" I ask her. I leave the decision completely up to her. I will not suppress her desires to fulfill mine.

Miki is silent, her eyes staring at the shuffling crowd behind us. "Just..." she starts quietly, before stopping.

"...Miki?"

"...I'd like to be with you a little longer..."

I nod. "Then...should we go get coffee or something?"

She nods, and I extend my hand to help her to her feet. We head to the hotel, and seat ourselves in the downstairs caf¨¦. We both order coffee, and sit in silence. I force the hot liquid to pass the knot in my throat in a vain attempt to clear it.

Miki's cup remains untouched. Her eyes are unfocused, distant. I do not inquire. I know what she is thinking about, for it is the same thing that plagues my mind.

"Excuse me..." A waitress walks up to me, visibly sorry for interrupting our dining. "I'm sorry, but...they're closing up the cash register, so could you pay your bill before they do?"

I nod, reaching into my pocket for my wallet and pull out the necessary money.

"They're...closing up..." Miki simply states, and I nod.

"Shall we go?" I ask her.

We both walk up to our hotel rooms in complete silence. I reach into my pocket and fumble around for my key. "Well...good night," I tell her, finding it.

"...Good night..." she responds.

I turn and put my key into the door lock, unlocking my room. I glance at Miki from the corner of my eye, and notice that she is simply staring at her door. She makes no attempt to get her key or enter her room.

Miki...I never wanted it to be this hard on you...

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"...Nothing..."

"Oh." I have to cheer her up. I HAVE to. "...I just thought that you'd lost your key. Because you would do a thing like that." I laugh.

Miki turns to me and narrows her eyes. I have brought some life back into her, and it is a relief. "You...are...CRUEL," she groans. "I have it. It's in my pocket."

I chuckle. "Well, then you should hurry and go into your room. Get a good night's sleep for our flight tomorrow."

Miki nods. "You, too..." she says, smiling.

We simply stand for several moments, neither of us really willing to leave the other. Her smile quickly fades, and I find mine fading with her. Her eyes begin to fill with tears, and she flies into my arms. I catch her, and embrace her in an effort of comfort, and she begins to cry into my chest.

Miki...I never wanted to see you like this...

Can I truly give you up so easily?

Can I really let you go?

I squeeze my eyes shut and push her away from my chest. I grab her arm and pull her into my room, slamming the door and dropping the key before pulling her into my arms for an intense kiss. I hold her as long as I can before I pull away and look into her tearing eyes.

"...Let's get married," I say. "Not right away, of course...but after I get a job and we can live on our own..."

Miki's legs fail her and she grabs my arms to keep from falling. "Wha...what are you saying? That's impossible..." She collapses to the floor completely, shaking her head rapidly and repeating her last sentence over and over.

I kneel down before her, suddenly becoming angry. How could she not see that I am trying to keep the two of us together? Isn't that what she's wanted all along? Wasn't that the purpose of this trip?

I grab onto her arms. "It's not impossible!" I lash back. "In the eyes of the census around us, we're total strangers. We won't have any problems."

I know what makes her hesitate. And who wouldn't, in our situation? Torn between the man you love and the people around you. She could allow herself to love me--at the expense of her pride and reputation. Relationships between siblings are heavily frowned upon in every society that I know.

"But...we're related...by blood..." Miki whimpers softly.

"I DON'T CARE!" I yell, dropping my hands from her arms, and she looks up at me, her eyes wide and still full of tears. "I don't care..." I repeat more softly, chiding myself for letting go. "To give up...I can't do that. So I made a decision...that common sense, and even morals...for you...I'll break them."

I take a large breath before sighing it out, trying to control my temper and emotions. "...I think it will be terribly hard to take...and painful for the both of us. We can't have children...and we'll probably be haunted by our own guilt forever. In fact, it may turn out that we'll spend the rest of our lives reproaching ourselves for our decision. But even so...I'll endure it. I'll do anything...ANYTHING...if it means that I can be with you. And I'd like you to endure this pain with me." My eyes simply stare into hers for several seconds before I ask my question. "Would that be so unpleasant?"

I must have everything or nothing at all. There can be no in between with us.

Miki's wide eyes do not falter, and she slowly shakes her head. She swipes at the tears in her eyes before bringing her arms up to softly touch upon my shoulders, and I mime her action, touching her sides.

"We'll do our best..." she says softly. "...Together. We'll be...together."

She wraps her arms around me tightly as I reciprocate, unwilling to let her go.

"...Together," she whispers into my ear. "Tonight...forever...together." She brings a hand up to stroke the back of my hair, and I shiver at the feeling. I have not felt Miki's hands on me like that in a long time, and I had forgotten the feeling.

We stand and clasp each other's hands, heading for my single bed. Separate rooms have now become something used merely for show. We have resigned to our fate, and accept it. We will bear our burdens together, and we will come out as we were before our parents became involved.

And Miki willingly gives herself to me, becomes a part of me. Just as I become a part of her. We are each other, inside and out, as we hold each other close.

I know that what we have done will be frowned on by most. But I have no regrets, and I am confident that Miki is the same. Our hearts are finally one at last, our souls-regardless of heritage--have connected.

We are forevermore a pair of condemned lovers.

~End~

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Well, it wasn't SUPPOSED to be happy! This is what happens in the manga! Well...before they go and talk to their parents, that is. ^_^ Some of the dialogue belongs to Yoshizumi Wataru as well as the Marmalade Boy translators, while the rest--the stuff that ties the scenes together--belongs to me. And unless I've missed my guess, Huis Ten Bosch is the Japanese equivalent of Six Flags.

...make a wish